A short while back, I had the opportunity to go on an 8-day meditation retreat. This was at the American Bodhi Center (ABC), which is affiliated with the Jade Buddha Temple which I regularly attend, and was led by visiting monk Venerable Kai Li. I thought it would give me the impetus to re-commit to my practice – especially meditation which, sad to say, I wasn’t doing regularly at the time.
The retreat was advertised as a ‘silent retreat’, so I took the opportunity to completely disconnect from work and social media, going so far as switching my phone off (which I’ll never do again, as AT&T just stopped attempting to deliver texts during this period) and leaving it in my car. I even took off my smart watch and went with just a basic analog watch. It actually turned out that the retreat wasn’t completely silent, and you could talk to other attendees if you really felt the need – as long as it was dharma-related. Personally, I had already committed myself to the idea of a silent retreat, so I just stuck with that – and it was incredibly liberating! There was no (societal) pressure to say “Hello” when you see someone else on the retreat (I knew several of them from my Temple), or make small-talk during meals (for which everyone was actually asked to observe a vow of silence), or share information / say how you’re doing, at all. In fact, there wasn’t even the need to acknowledge someone when you passed them on a walkway; it was perfectly OK – and almost admired – to just keep your head bowed and not even make eye contact. Which is perfect for misanthropes like myself! There was obviously talking during the discussions, and Q&A sessions, and that was enough.
So what were the days like? Mostly, they followed the same format:
- 05:15 Wake up, shower, and get dressed
- 06:00 Sitting meditation
- 07:00 Walking meditation in nature (the grounds were wonderful, with trees, lakes, deer, and the occasional possum) [1.5 hours]
- 08:30: Breakfast [30 minutes]
- 09:30 Teaching from Ven. Kai Li
- 11:30 Exercise (Yoga, led by another ‘retreatee’) [30 minutes]
- 12:30 Lunch [30 minutes]
- 14:00 Self-practice (meditation)
- 15:00 Dharma discussion [2 hours]
- 17:30 Chores (we all had assigned tasks to keep the center clean; I volunteered to keep the communal toilets clean, as an act of humility)
- 20:00: Posture meditation (which we did as lying meditation outside, looking up at the stars) [1.5 hours]
- 21:30: Bedtime
If you’re keeping count, that is 5 hours of meditation per day, which sounds like a lot, but in reality didn’t really seem like enough. It provided me with the opportunity to do some serious introspection, and to really ingrain some of those Buddhist tenets, and there were definitely sessions where I was deep into something and didn’t want to end. At first, I thought that sitting cross-legged on a meditation cushion on the floor would be physically tough (on my notoriously-achy back and my legs), but you get used to it. I attended a lecture once where the speaker said they could sit and meditate for four hours straight. Interestingly, he said, “The pain is still there, but you learn to ignore it.”. And I did. I learned how to see the pain as something that belonged to my body, and not to my consciousness, which could then observe and acknowledge it without feeling it. Which was a huge breakthrough. And the whole experience has led me to commit to meditating 30 minutes every day – which I have stuck to ever since, save a few scattered days when I’ve been traveling.
You may also note that there’s no ‘dinner’ listed. As per Buddhist guidelines, there should be no food consumption after midday (stretched slightly here, as lunch didn’t start until 12:30). Again, I thought this would be tough, but it wasn’t. At all. Both breakfast and lunch were cooked meals, and that was certainly enough to sustain you through the day. In fact, the food was excellent! Nothing super-fancy, and 100% vegetarian, but incredibly tasty. If I could eat like that at home every day, I’d dispense with dinner there, too. It’s just that I don’t have a kitchen staff to prepare it for me at home, and I lack the time and skills to cook that level of quality food for myself every day, so…
The one problem I did have was that I took it upon myself to do without my morning coffee / afternoon Red Bull, and drink only water for the duration of the retreat. Which was a big mistake – at least to go ‘cold turkey’ like that. The sudden caffeine withdrawal gave me huge, serious hangover-level headaches for the first three days – to the point where I’d consumed all my emergency supplies of Advil by midday on the second day. If (when?) I do it again, I’m going to take the week beforehand to wean myself off coffee, so I don’t suffer so much on the actual retreat. But as a bonus, I have successfully kicked my Red Bull habit and haven’t had a can since, which will no doubt please my mother.
Overall, was it worth it? Absolutely! I feel it really helped get me back into my Buddhist studies – and to be more consistent about my practice. I’m reading more, meditating more, and as a result, hopefully being a better person for it. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. In fact, there’s a 10-day Vipassana Meditation Retreat over Christmas / New Year that I’m seriously considering attending. And even if I don’t make that, I’d consider taking a voluntary 10-day vow of silence / ignoring people over the same period!
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