{"id":1774,"date":"2025-06-19T19:56:47","date_gmt":"2025-06-20T01:56:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/?p=1774"},"modified":"2025-06-19T19:56:47","modified_gmt":"2025-06-20T01:56:47","slug":"in-a-silent-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/in-a-silent-way\/","title":{"rendered":"In A Silent Way"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A short while back, I had the opportunity to go on an 8-day meditation retreat. This was at the American Bodhi Center (ABC), which is affiliated with the Jade Buddha Temple which I regularly attend, and was led by visiting monk Venerable Kai Li. I thought it would give me the impetus to re-commit to my practice &#8211; especially meditation which, sad to say, I wasn&#8217;t doing regularly at the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"496\" src=\"https:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/images\/\/20241007_075544-1-1024x496.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1776\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/images\/20241007_075544-1-1024x496.jpg 1024w, http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/images\/20241007_075544-1-300x145.jpg 300w, http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/images\/20241007_075544-1-768x372.jpg 768w, http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/images\/20241007_075544-1-1536x744.jpg 1536w, http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/images\/20241007_075544-1.jpg 1694w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>The retreat was advertised as a &#8216;silent retreat&#8217;, so I took the opportunity to completely disconnect from work and social media, going so far as switching my phone off (which I&#8217;ll never do again, as AT&amp;T just stopped attempting to deliver texts during this period) and leaving it in my car. I even took off my smart watch and went with just a basic analog watch. It actually turned out that the retreat wasn&#8217;t <em>completely<\/em> silent, and you could talk to other attendees if you really felt the need &#8211; as long as it was dharma-related. Personally, I had already committed myself to the idea of a silent retreat, so I just stuck with that &#8211; and it was incredibly liberating! There was no (societal) pressure to say &#8220;Hello&#8221; when you see someone else on the retreat (I knew several of them from my Temple), or make small-talk during meals (for which everyone was actually asked to observe a vow of silence), or share information \/ say how you&#8217;re doing, at all. In fact, there wasn&#8217;t even the need to <em>acknowledge<\/em> someone when you passed them on a walkway; it was perfectly OK &#8211; and almost admired &#8211; to just keep your head bowed and not even make eye contact. Which is perfect for misanthropes like myself! There was obviously talking during the discussions, and Q&amp;A sessions, and that was enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So what were the days like? Mostly, they followed the same format:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>05:15<\/strong> Wake up, shower, and get dressed<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>06:00<\/strong> Sitting meditation<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>07:00<\/strong> Walking meditation in nature (the grounds were wonderful, with trees, lakes, deer, and the occasional possum) [1.5 hours]<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>08:30<\/strong>: Breakfast [30 minutes]<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>09:30<\/strong> Teaching from Ven. Kai Li<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>11:30<\/strong> Exercise (Yoga, led by another &#8216;retreatee&#8217;) [30 minutes]<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>12:30<\/strong> Lunch [30 minutes]<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>14:00<\/strong> Self-practice (meditation)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>15:00<\/strong> Dharma discussion [2 hours]<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>17:30<\/strong> Chores (we all had assigned tasks to keep the center clean; I volunteered to keep the communal toilets clean, as an act of humility)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>20:00<\/strong>: Posture meditation (which we did as lying meditation outside, looking up at the stars) [1.5 hours]<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>21:30<\/strong>: Bedtime<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;re keeping count, that is 5 hours of meditation per day, which sounds like a lot, but in reality didn&#8217;t really seem like enough. It provided me with the opportunity to do some serious introspection, and to really ingrain some of those Buddhist tenets, and there were definitely sessions where I was deep into something and didn&#8217;t want to end. At first, I thought that sitting cross-legged on a meditation cushion on the floor would be physically tough (on my notoriously-achy back and my legs), but you get used to it. I attended a lecture once where the speaker said they could sit and meditate for four hours straight. Interestingly, he said, &#8220;The pain is still there, but you learn to ignore it.&#8221;. And I did. I learned how to see the pain as something that belonged to my body, and not to my consciousness, which could then observe and acknowledge it without <em>feeling<\/em> it. Which was a huge breakthrough. And the whole experience has led me to commit to meditating 30 minutes every day &#8211; which I have stuck to ever since, save a few scattered days when I&#8217;ve been traveling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You may also note that there&#8217;s no &#8216;dinner&#8217; listed. As per Buddhist guidelines, there should be no food consumption after midday (stretched slightly here, as lunch didn&#8217;t start until 12:30). Again, I thought this would be tough, but it wasn&#8217;t. At all. Both breakfast and lunch were cooked meals, and that was certainly enough to sustain you through the day. In fact, the food was excellent! Nothing super-fancy, and 100% vegetarian, but incredibly tasty. If I could eat like that at home every day, I&#8217;d dispense with dinner there, too. It&#8217;s just that I don&#8217;t have a kitchen staff to prepare it for me at home, and I lack the time and skills to cook that level of quality food for myself every day, so&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The one problem I did have was that I took it upon myself to do without my morning coffee \/ afternoon Red Bull, and drink only water for the duration of the retreat. Which was a big mistake &#8211; at least to go &#8216;cold turkey&#8217; like that. The sudden caffeine withdrawal gave me <em>huge<\/em>, serious hangover-level headaches for the first three days &#8211; to the point where I&#8217;d consumed <em>all<\/em> my emergency supplies of Advil by midday on the second day. If (when?) I do it again, I&#8217;m going to take the week beforehand to wean myself off coffee, so I don&#8217;t suffer so much on the actual retreat. But as a bonus, I have successfully kicked my Red Bull habit and haven&#8217;t had a can since, which will no doubt please my mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Overall, was it worth it? Absolutely! I feel it really helped get me back into my Buddhist studies &#8211; and to be more consistent about my practice. I&#8217;m reading more, meditating more, and as a result, hopefully being a better person for it. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. In fact, there&#8217;s a 10-day Vipassana Meditation Retreat over Christmas \/ New Year that I&#8217;m seriously considering attending. And even if I don&#8217;t make that, I&#8217;d consider taking a voluntary 10-day vow of silence \/ ignoring people over the same period! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A short while back, I had the opportunity to go on an 8-day meditation retreat. This was at the American Bodhi Center (ABC), [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[122,6],"tags":[123],"class_list":["post-1774","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-buddhism","category-life","tag-buddhism"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1774","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1774"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1774\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1777,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1774\/revisions\/1777"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}