As a contractor, I’ve been fortunate to work for the same client for some 16 years. Admittedly this has actually been for six different legal entities, and via four different agencies \/ consulting companies, but always for the same corporation. During those years,\u00c2\u00a0I like to think that I’ve\u00c2\u00a0built up a good reputation as a solid, reliable worker. So I was somewhat miffed recently to find out that I was now – after 16 years – to be subject to a full background check and drug test.<\/p>\n
It turns out that this is an annual<\/em> check, and\u00c2\u00a0was brought in as part of contract renegotiations between my agency and\u00c2\u00a0the client, and at the behest of the client.\u00c2\u00a0However,\u00c2\u00a0my\u00c2\u00a0agency is only one of a number of consulting companies used by the client, and after a quick straw poll of a couple of the others, it seems as though only my agency has had this clause put into their contracts. Which makes me wonder what we <\/em>have done\u00c2\u00a0wrong…<\/p>\n Sure, I could refuse, and cite violation of my civil liberties (which it is), but the bottom line is that if I want to remain employed by this client, I need to accede. I’m not actually worried about the drug test – I’ve been straight-edge for over a decade now – and having recently gained my US Citizenship I’m pretty confident that if the FBI didn’t turn up anything on me,\u00c2\u00a0the third-party\u00c2\u00a0investigator used by my agency aren’t likely to turn up anything, either. (Not that there is<\/em> anything to turn up, you understand, but…)<\/p>\n On Monday this week I received an invitation to go and provide a urine sample at one of\u00c2\u00a0a number of ‘approved’ medical facilities.\u00c2\u00a0 An invitation<\/em>! To go and piss in a pot. At an approved<\/em> urine collector (what, do you have to be certified<\/em> for this?). I remember when I used to receive invitations to parties<\/em>. Is this what it’s come to, now? Anyway, I’m away on business this week (at the behest of the client) so I figured it would wait. My agency\u00c2\u00a0evidently thought otherwise, and today I was notified that my “invitation had expired”.\u00c2\u00a0Apparently you basically get 48 hours in which to comply – presumably so you don’t have time to detox, or find some clean pee from somewhere.\u00c2\u00a0 (“Good news, Mr. Manuel. Your urine sample came back clean.\u00c2\u00a0 Unfortunately it indicates that you’re a prepubescent girl.”). So now I have to get another appointment and hope that I’m in town within 48 hours.\u00c2\u00a0 Or maybe I could just mail it in. Those FedEx envelopes are watertight, right?<\/p>\n I guess what really irks me is that employers are probably not really doing themselves any favors with these drug tests.\u00c2\u00a0 Obviously an employer is well within their rights to make sure that the people they are paying\u00c2\u00a0for aren’t actually crack addicts, but I’m guessing that you could probably spot the crack addicts in your workforce,\u00c2\u00a0even without a drug test. And anyway, isn’t (continued) employment supposed to be based on performance<\/em> – of which mine has been exemplary -\u00c2\u00a0so what does it matter how<\/em> you get the job done as\u00c2\u00a0long as you do it well?<\/p>\n My job is pretty stressful at times, and my high blood pressure will probably kill me before long. The chance to unwind with a spliff of an evening would probably actually delay the inevitable heart-attack, and therefore extend my useful working life, with pretty much zero negative impact on my daily work.\u00c2\u00a0Or what about these\u00c2\u00a018 hour days I’m currently working, getting by on a diet of Red Bull and chocolate? Would the occasional wrap of speed cause me to suddenly fuck up everything I’m working on, or would it in fact allow me to pull an all-nighter and actually meet some of these relentless deadlines?\u00c2\u00a0 Really, what is the cost benefit\u00c2\u00a0in all of\u00c2\u00a0this?<\/p>\n Though of course there is zero actual cost for the client – all of that is being borne by the agency who will pretty much do anything short of sacrificing their consultants’ first-born to remain a ‘preferred supplier’.<\/p>\n So what exactly does the client\u00c2\u00a0stand to gain from this? I’m not sure. But\u00c2\u00a0a less\u00c2\u00a0rational person than I\u00c2\u00a0could\u00c2\u00a0connect the dots between Corporate America’s recent penchant for drug tests and the poor economy, which\u00c2\u00a0has created\u00c2\u00a0vast numbers of unemployed who would probably quite happily give a kidney, let alone a urine sample, if it meant getting a job, which in turn gives employers the opportunity to hire cheaper (and hopefully cleaner) workers – if only they could find a way to get rid of some of those expensive coke-heads currently on the books…<\/p>\n P.S. I in no way ‘do’ or condone the ‘doing’ of coke, weed, speed, whizz, crack, hash, ya-yo, E, H, or K, meth, crank, acid, uppers, downers, ‘luudes, ‘shrooms, or anything else\u00c2\u00a0‘the kids’ are doing these days.\u00c2\u00a0As my pee will soon attest.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As a contractor, I’ve been fortunate to work for the same client for some 16 years. Admittedly this has actually been for six […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,13],"tags":[31,22],"class_list":["post-152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life","category-work","tag-drugs","tag-medical"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=152"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":168,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152\/revisions\/168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=152"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=152"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.planetmanuel.com\/dirk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=152"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}